When we think about January, we tend to think about fresh starts. New goals. New routines. A clean slate.
But for many children and teens, January doesn’t feel hopeful, it feels heavy.
January can actually be one of the most emotionally challenging months of the year for young people. After the excitement of the holidays fades, kids are suddenly expected to jump back into school routines, academic pressure, social expectations, and a cultural message that says: You should already be better.
The Hidden Pressure of a “New Year”
Children and teens absorb the same messages adults do. “New Year, New Me.” Do better. Be happier. Try harder.
“Kids and teens hear that they should immediately improve, change habits, or fix things about themselves,” says Marcy Shyllon, Interim Executive Director of Boys Town New England. “For many, that pressure becomes overwhelming, especially when expectations are unrealistic.”
Social media often amplifies this pressure. Perfect routines, glowing transformations, and constant comparison can leave kids feeling like they’re already falling behind, just weeks into the year.
When Goals Turn Into Stress
Goal-setting can be a healthy skill, but January resolutions often focus on perfection instead of progress.
Kids may feel pressure to:
- Improve Grades
- Make new friends or fit in socially
- Change their appearance
- Be more productive or successful
All while transitioning back into school after a long break.
“When goals are too big or unclear, kids can feel like they’re failing before the year even really starts,” Shyllon explains. “That sense of failure often shows up as anxiety, irritability, withdrawal, or behavior challenges.”
A Healthier Approach: Progress Over Perfection
Instead of traditional New Year’s resolutions, Boys Town New England experts encourage families to focus on small, realistic goals that emphasize effort rather than outcomes.
Some examples:
- Practicing a new habit for just a few minutes a day
- Focusing on one area of growth at a time
- Celebrating consistency, not perfection
“When goals feel manageable, kids build confidence and motivation,” Shyllon says. “Success comes from progress, not pressure.”
January Is Also a Moment for Parents
January isn’t just hard on kids, it’s hard on parents, too. And children are always watching how adults respond to challenges.
Experts say this month is an opportunity for parents to model self-compassion and flexibility.
Instead of asking, “Did you stick to your resolution?” Try asking, “What did you learn this week?”
“Teaching kids that mistakes are part of growth helps protect their mental health long-term,” Shyllon explains. “It shows them that they don’t have to be perfect to move forward.”
There’s No Deadline on Growth
Mental wellness doesn’t require a reset on January 1.
Slowing down, rebuilding routines, and setting realistic expectations can help families ease into the year without unnecessary stress. Kids don’t need to reinvent themselves, they need support, patience, and reassurance.
“The healthiest message kids can hear in January is that they’re already enough,” says Shyllon. “Growth happens over time, not overnight.”
If January feels harder than expected in your household, you’re not alone and neither is your child. Sometimes, the most powerful resolution is simply giving yourself and your family permission to take things one step at a time.