Skip Ribbon Commands
Skip to main content

How to Raise a Giver

November 28th, 2016     By Boys Town Contributor

Connecting with Kids, Parent-Child Relationships

As the holiday shopping season moves into full swing, we’re bombarded with the usual messages to “Buy! Buy! Buy!” As adults, we can tune out a certain amount of this noise, but children aren’t so readily equipped. For them, the constant barrage of commercialism can lead to a selfish urge to acquire the latest toys, games and other shiny objects advertised on screens both big and hand-held.

So, how can you help your children focus on giving rather than receiving? Here are some tips from the parenting experts at Boys Town:

  • Make gratitude a core value of your family life. When your children receive a gift, have them focus on the generosity and kindness of the giver and talk about how the child will benefit from the gift, rather than how much the item costs or what it looks like. Insist that your child thank the giver verbally, and make sure your kids write thank-you notes.
  • Help your children make a list of gifts they are going to give. Contain the “gimme syndrome” by putting limits on the number of items kids can put on their holiday wish lists and how often they can add to or change the lists. Then, turn their attention (and yours) to concentrating on gifts they want to give to others. Encourage your children to create homemade gifts, as well as give gifts of service such as reading to a sibling or spending time helping grandparents with household chores.
  • When your child receives something, have him/her give something away. Before the holiday season and gift-giving get too far underway, have your children (and apply the same principle to yourself!) select gently used toys and clothes to donate to others. Remind them that people are in need every day.

Sometimes the Best Things Aren’t ‘Things’

Remember that talking doll that you just had to have for Christmas? The one you played with for a day and then left in your closet to collect dust? The pleasure gained from receiving a thing is sometimes fleeting, but the pleasure gained from receiving a heartfelt gesture often lasts a lifetime.

  • Reward your child with time and attention rather than things:Hugs, kisses, and time spent with Mom and Dad are what young children crave most. Rather than rewarding good behavior with a new toy, reward your child with an extra story at bedtime, playing a board game together or inviting a friend to come over to play. This will decrease the value placed on “things” and increase the value of time spent together.
  • Find ways to involve your child in service activities:If you volunteer with a particular organization, take this time of year to explain to your child why you do so, or even have your child help you. It is easier to for children to put giving back in perspective when they can participate. Tell Susie that another family may not have as many toys, and ask if she would like to give one of hers to a child who does not have one. Encourage your child to have empathy and caring for others.

Teaching your children to focus on giving rather than receiving naturally increases their empathy. And let’s not forget, a grateful child is invariably happier than an envious child.

Related Posts

 

 

Boys Town: Saving Children, Healing Families, Parenting Tips | 5 tips to help parents learn how to talk to their childrenhttps://www.boystown.org/blog/Pages/5-tips-to-help-parents-learn-how-to-talk-to-their-children.aspxBoys Town: Saving Children, Healing Families, Parenting Tips | 5 tips to help parents learn how to talk to their childrenGood communication with children helps them develop the building blocks for language development. It also improves your bond and encourages them to talk with and listen to you.July 19th, 2019Parenting AdviceGood communication with children helps them develop the building blocks for language development. It also improves your bond and encourages them to talk with and listen to you.Amy Tyler-Krings, research assistant in the Infant Language Development Laboratory for the Boys Town National Research Hospital.
Boys Town: Saving Children, Healing Families, Parenting Tips | Communicating with Kids Series – As a Parent, How Do I Address Loss, Stress and Other Difficult Emotions?https://www.boystown.org/blog/Pages/Communicating-with-Kids-Series-As-a-Parent-How-Do-I-Address-Loss-Stress-and-Other-Difficult-Emotions.aspxBoys Town: Saving Children, Healing Families, Parenting Tips | Communicating with Kids Series – As a Parent, How Do I Address Loss, Stress and Other Difficult Emotions?In the last part of the Communicating with Kids Series, Boys Town experts share advice and coping skills parents can offer children to address loss, stress, and other difficult emotions.April 16th, 2019Parenting AdviceIn the last part of the Communicating with Kids Series, Boys Town experts share advice and coping skills parents can offer children to address loss, stress, and other difficult emotions.Boys Town Contributor
Boys Town: Saving Children, Healing Families, Parenting Tips | Communicating with Kids Series – How Do I Develop a Relationship with my Child Who Has Behavioral Issues or Who Has Troublehttps://www.boystown.org/blog/Pages/Communicating-with-Kids-Series-How-Do-I-Develop-a-Relationship-with-my-Child-Who-Has-Behavioral-Issues-or-Who-Has-Trouble.aspxBoys Town: Saving Children, Healing Families, Parenting Tips | Communicating with Kids Series – How Do I Develop a Relationship with my Child Who Has Behavioral Issues or Who Has TroubleIn the sixth part of the Communicating with Kids Series, Boys Town experts share suggestions for how parents can develop and build relationships with children who have behavioral issues which might prevent them from communicating.March 6th, 2019FeaturedIn the sixth part of the Communicating with Kids Series, Boys Town experts share suggestions for how parents can develop and build relationships with children who have behavioral issues which might prevent them from communicating.Boys Town Contributor