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The Pressure to Be ‘Parent Perfect’

February 11th, 2015     By Father Boes

Family, Parent-Child Relationships, Parenting Skills

​A woman stopped by my office earlier this week. She had just come from another meeting with the school principal about her child and her shoulders sagged under the burden of responsibility.

She needed help.

As we talked, her worries and fears rushed out. She was convinced that she was to blame for her child’s troubles.

I told her, “It’s not your fault.” She looked up at me, startled.

Again, I said, “It’s not your fault. You are a wonderful mother.”

As those words started to sink in, her tears of gratitude and relief started to pour out. The burden she had been carrying around for so long was lifted.

I don’t know how you parents do it.

Raising kids, planning and preparing meals, maintaining a career, helping with school projects, caring for elderly parents, managing schedules – I’m exhausted just thinking about everything you have to juggle every day.

Somewhere along the way, society decided to set an unreachable standard of perfection for parents and families. Parents continue to strive for it, even though they know it’s unattainable, and then when every little goal they feel they need to achieve doesn’t work out, they feel like failures.

I’m here to say you’re not a failure.

Boys Town knows parents and families struggle from time to time. We also know no one can be perfect. That’s why we provide effective support services For Pa​rents, the Boys Town National Hotline ® (1-800-448-3000) and Common Sense Parenting® classes.

Every parent needs help now and then. We’ll be here when you need us and know that our Boys Town staff will keep you in our prayers.

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