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My 9th Grade Grandson has Failing Grades. He is Hooked on Gaming

Question:

​My 9th grade grandson has failing grades. He is hooked on gaming. His mom is a very busy widow trying to raise three children. I don't have a lot of contact with said grandson, except for family celebrations. I would like to explore some possible solutions with you so I could share them with my daughter. Also, I take care of her 2-year-old who is an adorable angel by himself, but bites and hits his cousins who are his age! Yikes! What can I do about this? Looking forward to your response!

Answer:

Teen gaming

Thank you for reaching out for help. It is evident you love and care deeply about your family and want what is absolutely best for them. Your family is also very lucky to have you reaching out on their behalf and getting as many resources in place to help the family succeed.

It is unfortunately too common for kids today to spend more time video gaming than anything else in their life. Children aren't socialized to go outside to play or use their imagination as much anymore because technology is the only imagination they need. When it comes to your grandson, it sounds like the gaming has started to severely interfere with his abilities to carry out other obligations (e.g., school work).

To help get your grandson's behaviors about gaming under control, we encourage you to take a look at our parenting tips (www.parenting.org). We actually have an entire section that is a guide for working with kids and teens through the digital age. Pay particular attention to the articles on ways to manage technology use and when technology takes over quality time.

We also have some great resources for parents when it comes to young children's biting and possibly aggressive behaviors. With your 2-year-old grandson, addressing this issue sooner rather than later is going to be help both you and your grandson in the long run. Directing appropriate consequences for the biting will help transition the biting to a more appropriate expression of his feelings.

 Children sometimes bite when they are frustrated because they don't have words to express themselves yet. A really important take away with biting is that we don't want to focus on telling a child, "no," because it only tells them what not to do and leaves it open for them to determine what to do instead. If we encourage the child with what to do instead of the biting, we are better setting them up for success in following through with appropriate behavior!

Your daughter definitely had her hands full with being a single parent to multiple children, so it is great to know she can turn to you for extra support. When it comes to the issue with the gaming and biting, see if your daughter would let you try new ways of addressing the behaviors. That way you can see if they work. Then teach her the methods you used; this way you can take some pressure off of mom from having to try everything all at once.

Please let us know if any of this helps you. Please give us a call or let us know if there is anything else that we can do to help you and your amazing family be successful!