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Son bullied at school because of physical appearance.

Question:

When my son was born, he was placed on his back to sleep. This made the back of his head flat. I recently found out my son is being bullied at school because of the shape of his head and that the bullies are slapping the back of his head. My son is a great kid and I don’t want this to affect his self-esteem. What can I do?


Answer:

Bullied in School

Bullying for any reason is unacceptable. It's especially inappropriate when someone is making fun of another person's physical appearance, over which a person has no control.

Here are a few things your son can try to stop the bullying:

  • Ignore the bullies.
  • Use humor to deflect the bullying. For example, your son could respond to the bullies' put-downs by smiling and saying, "Thank you very much" or "Boy, that's original."
  • Directly tell the bullies to stop. Your son could say, in a firm yet controlled voice, "Don't ever do that again."
  • Display self-confidence.  Your son should walk with his shoulders back and his head up, and have a smile on his face.  When he greets people, he should look them in the eye and make a point to say something nice about them. People like someone who makes them feel good about themselves.

At home, talk to your son about his strengths and let him know it's okay to use these appropriate strategies to stick up for himself at school. Children will feel more confident about standing up to bullies if their parents encourage them and let them know this is the right thing to do.

If none of these strategies work, your son may need to report the bullying to a teacher or a counselor. Many schools now take a "no tolerance" approach to bullying and have specific consequences for kids who are bullying others.

If the teacher or counselor he talks to fails to take action, it's time for you to take this problem to the principal, advocate for your son and make sure the school takes measures to end the bullying.

As a parent, your most important role in a situation like this is to support, encourage and love your son.