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Disrespectful Daughter after Divorce

Question:

I've recently divorced and have custody of my 14-year-old daughter. Since the divorce, she has become both disrespectful and unwilling to interact with me, even in a simple conversation. I would like to get my daughter some professional counseling, but I can't find anyone who's taking new clients right now.  What can I do to address her behaviors?

Answer:

disrespectful daughter

Raising a teenager can be a very stressful time for everyone involved, even under the best of circumstances. Teens push boundaries and their parents' buttons to see how much they can get away with, experiment with different personality and emotional styles in order to find their true selves, and generally just try to assert their independence any way they can. All of these things individually can be a lot for a parent to manage. But when they all occur at the same time, the stress level can rise dramatically. 

Your daughter is going through a transition right now that she probably doesn't fully understand. For example, she probably doesn't know or understand the true reason for your divorce; all she knows is that the family she once knew is no longer a whole family but rather two smaller families. At the same time, she is also trying to find her own personal identity.

Based on this situation, you are definitely on the right track in seeking professional help for your daughter. This would give her an opportunity to talk to someone about what is going on in her head, and perhaps help her find her own voice. Visit www.psychologytoday.com; it's a great website where you can search for counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists in your area and even find out who will accept your insurance.

In the meantime, have your daughter call our Boys Town National Hotline® at 1-800-448-3000 or email yourlifeyourvoice@boystown.org to share her concerns.  It's a way to let her know she can always reach out to us for help.

Being a parent is hard, but you never have to do it alone. ​