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Six-Year-Old With Anger Issues

Question:

​​My 6-year-old son is having anger issues. The smallest things set him off. He also has some behaviors that seem almost obsessive in nature, such as needing to hug and kiss me six times at bedtime because he's six years old. He recently got mad at me because I started to make dinner without his assistance, even though he didn't tell me he wanted to help. These anger/control behaviors are worrisome. What can I do?​

Answer:

angry 6-yr-old

We are glad you discovered our website and are reaching out to us. Your email conveyed a sense of frustration and concern over your 6-year-old's behavior. Sometimes, what seems to adults to be inappropriate behavior can actually be very normal behavior for children. They are emotional beings, experiencing life around them from a very emotional foundation. So it may be good to let him express his emotions, then use the inappropriate behaviors he displays as opportunities for teaching. For example, with his anger issues, you can let him know that you understand he is angry while teaching him temper tantrums will not get him what he wants. If you are not comfortable getting multiple hugs and kisses from him, perhaps ask him for one big hug and one big kiss that are worth six of each. When he has his outbursts, try to remain calm, stay in the parenting mode and don't engage in his drama. You want to let him know you see and hear him, without letting his extreme behaviors change your behavior. 

Please call the Boys Town National Hotline® at 1-800-448-3000 anytime you need help or guidance. Our counselors are available 24/7. You also can visit our website, www.boystown.org/parenting for helpful articles and videos on parenting. Stay strong, calm and brave.