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Seeing Beyond the Problem

October 19th, 2017     By Dr. Tara Borsch

Early Childhood, Family, Parenting Skills, Social Skills, Tara Borsh, Understanding Behavior

Let's do an exercise. Think back to the day you brought your new baby home from the hospital. See if you can recapture the excitement and joy from that day. Now think about the first time you heard your child say "Mama" or "Dada."

Remember how proud you were? What about your baby's first step? Remember the excitement? These are just a few of the many treasured moments in the life of a developing child.

Even during their worst moments, we treasure our children as a precious gift. And while you might be reading this article because you're frustrated with your child (or his or her ADHD), it's important to remember that parenting is one of the most rewarding "jobs" you'll ever have.

One thing I often hear parents say is, "I can't wait…."

  • ​"I can't wait until she gets out of diapers!"
  • "I can't wait until he gets bigger so we can play catch."
  • "I can't wait until she starts school so I can help her study."
  • "I can't wait until he's a teenager so he can get out and get a job."

Sometimes, parents can get so focused on the "can't waits," they miss out on the wonderful "right nows" that are happening right in front of them. Why would we want to speed up our child's life when there are so many great experiences to share in the present? Each stage of a child's life has its highs and lows, its "A-ha" and its "Oh no!" moments, its joys and its challenges.

If at each stage of life, all you see are the difficulties and negatives, you surely will miss all the fun and moments of elation your children can bring you.  

This is an important point for every parent. But it's especially critical for those parents whose children have ADHD. These parents can be hypersensitive to the difficulties each day seems to bring that it's hard not to look forward to those "I can't wait" times when they hope and pray things will be better.

Here's the lesson: In every child with ADHD with whom I have worked with, there have ALWAYS been positive events and proud moments, no matter what the child's age or how many difficulties a family faced. I know there are times as parents when we get so frustrated, bogged down, and focused on "fixing the problem" that we look right past the great things our kids are doing. As parents, we have to make the commitment to not let the glare of our child's ADHD hide the beauty of his or her life!​

ADHD Help Wanted - Long Term Team Players Needed

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