Skip Ribbon Commands
Skip to main content
Kids problems

Open Letter from Your Child: Please Stop Trying to Fix My Problems for Me

March 29th, 2018     By Your Child

Connecting with Kids, Homework, Parent-Child Relationships, Sports, Stress, Teens, Tweens

​​Dear Mom and Dad,

I know you probably are surprised to find this letter because I usually don't do stuff like this, but I wanted you to know some things and thought this may be a good way to share it with you. I was thinking about sitting down to just talk with you about it but I wanted to make sure I remembered what to say and that you would hear me out, so that is why I am writing you. 

Lately I've been feeling more and more irritated and mad. I don't want things to get worse so I need to come clean and tell you what's on my mind. I know you mean well but I've been getting really annoyed when you try to fix things for me instead of just letting me figure things out. Like last week when I was trying to figure out what to do my science report on and you talked me into doing it on black holes instead of on sharks because you thought I would get a better grade with that topic. You know I'm really into sharks and I wanted to learn more about them. Plus, I think I'd do a better job on the paper if I did it on something I like instead of want you think is best. It might take me awhile but I can figure out stuff like this on my own. I didn't really want you to tell me what I should do. I just wanted you to help me come up with ideas that I would enjoy.

Another thing that's been bothering me is when you want to talk about my games and how I can do better right after the games on the ride home – even when we win! After games I really just want to do something else instead of talk about how I did in the game. And to be honest, I just tune you out anyway because it makes the times we win feel less fun and even worse when we lose. My coaches are really good at working on stuff we need to get better at during practice and I'll work on it then. I think it would really help if we just talked about other things after games or even get ice cream to celebrate a win.  

The last thing I need to tell you about is when I talk to you about stuff that's going on with my friends. When I talk about it, you always end up giving advice and telling me what I should say or do. Sometimes, all I really want is for you to listen because talking out loud really helps me figure things out and it's nice to have someone to talk to about things like that. If I need help when I have these problems with my friends, don't worry, I'll ask.

I think it will help me grow up if you let me try to solve my problems myself. If I'm struggling or don't know what to do, you've let me know that I can come to you for help anytime. Something I think would help is for you to know that when I talk and share stuff with you, I'm not asking you to give me advice or try to fix things. I really like it best when you just listen and we talk.

I think it will help me grow up if you let me try to solve my problems myself. If I'm struggling or don't know what to do, you've let me know that I can come to you for help anytime. Something I think would help is for you to know that when I talk and share stuff with you, I'm not asking you to give me advice or try to fix things. I really like it best when you just listen and we talk.

Anyway, thanks for reading this mom and dad! Now that I have said what's on my mind, maybe sometime we can talk about it or you can write me back. 

Your awesome kid!

Related Posts

 

 

5 tips to help parents learn how to talk to their childrenhttps://www.boystown.org/blog/Pages/5-tips-to-help-parents-learn-how-to-talk-to-their-children.aspx5 tips to help parents learn how to talk to their childrenGood communication with children helps them develop the building blocks for language development. It also improves your bond and encourages them to talk with and listen to you.July 19th, 2019Parenting AdviceGood communication with children helps them develop the building blocks for language development. It also improves your bond and encourages them to talk with and listen to you.Amy Tyler-Krings, research assistant in the Infant Language Development Laboratory for the Boys Town National Research Hospital.
Communicating with Kids Series – As a Parent, How Do I Address Loss, Stress and Other Difficult Emotions?https://www.boystown.org/blog/Pages/Communicating-with-Kids-Series-As-a-Parent-How-Do-I-Address-Loss-Stress-and-Other-Difficult-Emotions.aspxCommunicating with Kids Series – As a Parent, How Do I Address Loss, Stress and Other Difficult Emotions?In the last part of the Communicating with Kids Series, Boys Town experts share advice and coping skills parents can offer children to address loss, stress, and other difficult emotions.April 16th, 2019Parenting AdviceIn the last part of the Communicating with Kids Series, Boys Town experts share advice and coping skills parents can offer children to address loss, stress, and other difficult emotions.Boys Town Contributor