Tips for Parents to Help Youth

Reaching Goals with Charts and Contracts

One effective way to change your children's behavior is to use charts and contracts - agreements between you and your children that spell out what they will receive from you when they behave in certain ways. Privileges are contingent on specific behaviors you want to see from your kids. For example, "When you finish cleaning your room, you may go out and play."

Both charts and contracts have three main parts:

Specify the behavior your child needs to change.
Specify what privileges can be earned.
Specify how long the agreement is in effect.

Here's a sample contract:

I, Shawna, agree to be home by 9 o'clock on Sunday through Thursday nights and by 11 o'clock on Friday and Saturday nights. I have to do this for two weeks in a row before I get a later weekend curfew. If I am late coming home, I lose the privilege of going out the following night. My two weeks of coming home on time begin again the next time I go out.

We, Mom and Dad, agree to let Shawna stay out until 11:30 p.m. on Friday and Saturday nights when she comes home on time for two weeks in a row.

We will mark the calendar each night after Shawna comes home on time. This will continue for two weeks or until the contract is renegotiated.

Shawna and her parents sign and date the contract.

Tips for Successful Charts and Contracts

State the goal positively.
"When you finish your homework, you may watch TV" helps a child focus on a positive goal more than "If you don't finish your homework, you don't get to watch TV."
Follow through on the agreement.
When your child reaches the goal, give what you promised - with praise!
Make the goals specific and measurable.
It is easier to tell if your child is "offering to help Mom once a day" than "being more responsible."
Keep the goals reasonable.
Be sure they are age-appropriate.
Make the experience fun!

Charts and contracts open lines of communication, so parents and children reach goals together.

Want to know more about Setting up Charts and Contracts with your child? This information is taken from Common Sense Parenting® by Ray Burke, Ph.D., and Ron Herron. Common Sense Parenting® videos and books offer many more successful Boys Town-tested techniques for raising good kids and improving parent-child relationships.