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What should I do if my kids seem to be making progress with a behavior problem, then go right back to using that behavior?

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What should I do if my kids seem to be making progress with a behavior problem, then go right back to using that behavior?

That's okay, completely okay. I don't want that to discourage people from giving rewards. We still want the reward for the good behaviors, but  we're also going to have consistent consequences for the negative behaviors.

When there are kids that have had a lot difficult behavioral issues, it adds a lot of stress on the parents and they focus a lot on those negatives. One thing I always try to tell parents to keep in mind is even if they've had a bad day and there have been a lot of bad behaviors, there is always going to be some good stuff there. So make sure you pick out the good stuff and reward it. You should do that as much as possible. Usually, those kinds of rewards are the ones that are verbal praise and attention. Those kinds of rewards are things that help the kids really know that you appreciate this good behavior, no matter what else has been around.

If you do that and then there is a negative behavior, it's no problem. We're just going to have a negative consequence for that negative behavior and consistently do that so that they realize, "Good behaviors, I get what I want. Bad behaviors, I definitely do not get what I want." If they get that consistently, usually kids realize that and they know, "My life is a lot better if I'm meeting expectations and giving mom and dad what they want. I'm getting more of what I want and that's definitely where I want to be."

So it's all about consistency. You can do the rewards, just make sure you also have negative consequences for those inappropriate behaviors.

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