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What if my kids might be telling a lie about something that happened when I was not around?

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What if my kids might be telling a lie about something that happened when I was not around?

If the kids say something bad happened and you don't really know what happened, there are a couple of different ways that you can really go about this. One thing that I have told families to do is, kind of in a way punish that behavior. Especially if this is a reoccurring thing where there isn't a big negative behavior that is going on in between the kids. It's more whining and complaining, trying to get sibling in trouble. When they come and they are complaining and whining and this keeps happening we are going to give them an instruction to go do something. Now they are being drawn away from their fun and have to do a little task for mom or dad.

So I can tell them consistently to do that so when the kids come to complain, it's like "Go do this for me.” They either have to go do it, and if they don't, well then there is a negative consequence because they were non-compliant. What that does is it stops whatever incident was going on, if there was an incident going on, but it also really makes it so they are not going to come to you unless there is a real issue because they know that if they come you are going to tell them to do something. "All right. Go do this for me. I need you to go pick up this, or I need you to go do this." It could be any random thing. "I need you to go over there and grab my glasses and bring them over to me." You are just going to keep giving them these little commands every time they come and eventually they are going to realize, "I'm tired of going over to this guy because he keeps telling me to do stuff each time."

That will keep them from not coming and complaining about things unless there really is an issue. So then is if, okay, what if there really is an issue going on. From there you kind of just have to try to pick up what you think is happening. We don't want to punish someone for anything that we don't know. So a lot of times, separate the children. If they were both playing a video game that they really enjoy, and you are not exactly sure what happened, "All right. Well, then we'll just turn the video game off and you guys can each go your separate ways and do something." Because they weren't getting along, and there was that little fighting and that conflict, well, "You guys missed out on the one thing you really wanted to have fun playing with and now that's done. You are going to have to do something else".

There is no huge, huge negative consequence, since we weren't there and we don't know what's going on, but it definitely is something that is a negative consequence that's going to hopefully stop them from that bickering and fighting quite as much so that they get along a little bit more. It's like "Well we want to play our video game so we need to make sure that we are getting along and not arguing, and if something happens were not going to go tell mom about it because we want to play." So little consequences and things like that just so you make all those little behaviors and the complaining, it doesn't work for them. That's the main idea behind all this. If it's behavior we don't like, it's not going to work for you, it's going to work against you. Hopefully, next time you will think twice and not want to do that because you know it's going to work against you.

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