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What If a Child Blames the Coach for How They Did In a Game?

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We talk to our kids all the time about not making excuses. Ownership. Ownership, we own our behavior, we own our effort, we own our attitude, we own all those things. Those are on us, and we never lay blame on other circumstances that might have caused the outcome not to go our way. And it's easy. It's easy for kids to do that because that immediately takes that responsibility, which is something that we're trying to teach, and it takes it off their shoulders and onto somebody else.

And parents have to be aware of this too because as parents, a lot of times kids will pick up, "We blame the official." "Well, we would've won that game, but that official made a bad call." And immediately our children pick up on that and they say, "See, it wasn't our fault and it wasn't our performance. It was the official's fault." So we have to be real careful in doing that. We want them to take ownership in that and say, "You know what coach? That was on me. That was our behavior, that was our performance, and we're going to work to make it better next time, but it was total ownership by us as an individual and as a team." It's a tremendous life skill. You know, how many adults can't say, "Hey, ​that was my fault. I'll take responsibility for it," and we blame it on somebody else. It's the truth.

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