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What can I say to my child after losing an athletic competition?

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What can I say to my child after losing an athletic competition?

Well you know that when we lose at anything we tend to be disappointed. And sometimes the best thing that we can say as an adult to a child is nothing. Except you know, "Are you healthy?" I know that's extremely important, because in my own experience, with my own children I've had them hurt. And a couple of them with serious injuries. So, I really know the importance of my child, just making it through athletic contests healthy. So one of my first questions was always, "Are you healthy?" and whether they won or lost it really didn't matter.

And then children generally like to be alone after a loss, you can read your child. And it's okay to allow them, we call it a pout period, and that's alright, as long as it doesn't continue for hours and hours and hours. But you're going to feel some disappointment. Because any time, it's a natural reaction, any time we invest a lot in something and we don't get what we want, we're disappointed. And as adults it's okay to allow that child to feel disappointed. So sometimes saying nothing. And then afterwards, maybe after a cooling off period we say, "How did you think you played?" Or questions such as that as opposed to just criticizing right away. And kids will work through, kids are resilient, kids are resilient. And a lot of times I find that the adults tend to take the losses sometimes worse than the children do. And just let them work through it and things will turn out okay.

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