Skip Ribbon Commands
Skip to main content

How do I manage making rewards fair when my older kids get items or get to do activities that aren't age appropriate for my younger kids?

View Transcript

How do I manage making rewards fair when my older kids get items or get to do activities that aren't age appropriate for my younger kids?

Managing rewards and privileges for siblings that differ in age can always be a problem in the house because you have the kids complaining. The younger ones always complain that they don't get to do what the older one does. With older kids, they do have more of the privileges and freedoms, but because of that they should also have more responsibilities and be doing more work around the house. They should have the responsibilities that are developmentally appropriate for them that usually the younger sibling can't do.

So, you should really be making the older kids work, and  making a contrast in the work that they're putting in, so that it makes it a little easier to accept the contrasts and the rewards and privileges on the other end. And that way the younger siblings, they can see, well, as their older brother's out mowing the lawn and working in the yard all day and spending multiple hours outside working, and they spend a half hour picking up their room. Okay, there's a big difference. They got off a lot easier and then they get to have more of a little fun time, and those kinds of things there. They're getting more rewards in a sense in those situations. And that kind of helps them see that, "I have less work and get little more of this fun time." Even though they don't have those bigger privileges, it kind of just helps set the stage to make that a little easier.

So if there's difference in the rewards and privileges, we need to also have difference in responsibilities, so at least it's a structure that everyone can see. Will little siblings still complain about it? Probably, but at least we have the structure that makes sense. And that's even going to be good for the older kid to realize that, "I get to do more of these things because I am contributing more." It's not just because I'm older, it's because I'm more responsible, I contribute more to the household, so I deserve more freedom, more independence, more privileges, more access to things that the younger ones that can't contribute, they're not able to get." 

 

Untitled 1
90% of your donation goes to save children Donate Now