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My 20-Year-Old Daughter Suffers From Low Self-Esteem

Question:

My 20-year-old daughter is very uncomfortable around people. She made it through college and works at a fast food business. She is smart, pretty, funny and an artist, but she has low self-esteem. I try to remind her that she is made in the image and likeness of God. It hurts me to see her suffering. Thanks. God bless.

Answer:

It sounds like you care about your daughter a lot. That’s what good parents do. You are certainly doing the right thing by reaching out to help. As parents, it can be hard to figure out what to say sometimes, and it’s easy to second-guess ourselves. But what you told your daughter is very encouraging. Now perhaps you could go beyond words and pick a night where the two of you can just hang out. During this time, you could shower your daughter with compliments (without making it too obvious you’re trying to help her) and reassure her that she can go far in life.

Your daughter is only 20; she’s still trying to figure out who she is. Although it may seem like she is going through a rough time, this is actually a good life lesson for her. You can help her improve her social skills by encouraging her to work in an environment where she has to interact with people, maybe something in customer service. You daughter sounds very intelligent, especially if she completed college by age 20! Just as you explained how talented your daughter is, make sure you continue to tell her the same thing, no matter how many times you have already done so. This can help build her self-esteem even more.

As parents, we want to shelter our children from hurt and stress. But experiencing challenges and difficulties can also be a good learning tool. Just remember that your daughter is young, and in time she will find her way and come to realize how beautiful she is, inside and out. It sounds like she has a lot to offer the world, so be encouraging.

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