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Dr. Connie Schnoes

Connie J. Schnoes, Ph.D.


Connie J. Schnoes, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist who has worked with youth and their families for more than 25 years. She currently provides outpatient services to children of all ages and their families. She is also the training director for the Boys Town pre-doctoral internship psychology training program.

Dr. Schnoes received both her Ph.D. and M.A. from the ​University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Her' experiences span the Boys Town Integrated Continuum of Care SM for children and families. She has assisted in the development and evaluation of numerous programs including parent training, wraparound services,foster care, residential care centers, and inpatient psychiatric care. She has consulted locally and nationally and been involved in research and program implementation. Her clinical interests include pediatric sleep disturbance, disruptive behavior problems, depression and anxiety disorders.

Book Review

"Anger isn't bad. This important reminder comes from Connie J. Schnoes, author of the new Show Me Your Mad Face: Teaching Children to Feel Angry without Losing Control (Boys Town Press ®).

Thinking about emotions as positive or negative, right or wrong, good or bad sets children up for problems, she continues: they may think they're wrong to feel anger or other "bad" emotions. Often, this psychologist says, adults unknowingly reinforce this perception by distracting kids from expressing emotion. Others are explicit about which emotions should be expressed: "Boys don't cry," "Big girls don't cry," and "I'll give you something to cry about" are messages many of us have heard.

Whether unintentional or deliberate, adult reactions to emotion can shape how kids perceive themselves. "Children learn that feeling and showing unpleasant emotions is unacceptable and makes others feel uncomfortable," writes Schnoes. Kids may assume that they're good if they feel happy. Conversely, says the author, it's only logical for them to assume that if anger is bad and they feel angry, they must be bad."

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